Bologna Smuggling

Smuggled bologna is apparently a bigger problem than we realize. I’m Amy E. Feldman.

Border patrol officers seized a hundred twenty pounds of  bologna from a Texas couple trying to smuggle it into the country this past month. Border patrol issued a statement saying there is “nothing funny” about bologna smuggling. I beg to differ. Even the phrase “bologna smuggling” is hilarious and inappropriate. 

Authorities take the job of preventing the importation of unregulated pork products seriously apparently—this incident wasn’t even the only seizure of illegal bologna in the past month. Border patrol seized an additional hundred ten pounds of it in an unrelated bologna smuggling incident in Santa Fe two days later. 

So remember: it is illegal not to declare food products when crossing the border, and it’s illegal to import pork products from Mexico, except for personal use, so you’d have to explain how you’re personally using your hundred twenty pounds of bologna. I think we’d all like to know.